“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change”           Wayne Dwyer

Written by Nathan Carkeek

PERSPECTIVE -A little over a year ago, after a two- year string of health issues, I left my 17-year corporate career in banking. Ten of those involved leading large geographically spread teams throughout NSW & Victoria. Looking back, you would think that a 10-day stint in hospital following a seizure, the extraction of a Squamous cell cancer, high PSA levels and being under the care of a Urologist. Followed by a partial liver extraction, and the death of an uncle only 8 years older than me, would have been enough signs to slow down and look at what was important… But it wasn’t.  Until the day I had to tell my team that one of their peers was off work indefinitely with cancer. It was in that moment that I walked to my car and cried.

RESILIENCE – Throughout my career, I attended and conducted many courses on resilience. I considered myself incredibly resilient, a self-perception that I always seemed to find evidence to support. Several years ago, a senior leader asked me “how I felt the business was going”, I replied “I see many of my peers with high levels of stress and anxiety”, the reply “why does that worry you? you are stronger than that”. I know it was meant as a compliment and I went back to happily running through brick walls, , until I couldn’t!

REALITY - The weeks, months, year that consequently passed saw me learn a lot about my severe levels of stress and anxiety and the “not so useful” coping strategies that I had put in place to deal with (aka numb) them. I started to understand more about the cognitive and physical challenges I experienced through not dealing with them effectively. With the support of an amazing wife and 3 beautiful kids, a great group of family, friends, past work colleagues, traditional and wholistic medical professionals, I learnt about myself. What I really value, how I was seeing and experiencing my world and the habits, patterns, strategies, and tools that were truly helpful and those that weren’t. Through this I started a journey of learning how to really look after my wellness and new ways to operate at my best.

Growth – Over the last year, I reconnected with my love of poetry, publishing a book in 2020. I also discovered that I enjoy creating art, and that others seemed to like what I created. So much so that my art was displayed as part of the 2021 Shepparton Festival. I partnered with an incredible new business partner who had an existing business with both traditional and wholistic coaching services, dedicated to helping people authentically navigate and take ownership of their careers and wellness, and we re-branded the business “Minds on Purpose”. I studied and made some alternative therapies part of my daily routine, including completing my Reiki level 1 & 2 and Values Pendulum Consultant accreditation, all of which support my work now.

Same but different – Recently I was asked to speak on an Instagram Live series about my experience with meditation. Public speaking is nothing new to me as I did loads of it in my previous career. However, this time it was just about me, vulnerable, walls down, mask off, me. It was terrifying, confronting and really challenged me in the weeks leading up to it. You see I had held onto an old idea of who I needed to be, to be successful in my role, what I could say, couldn’t say, could do and couldn’t do, and I was fearful of what others may think or say if they saw me different. The response that I got was overwhelming and made me realise the amount of people that have or are experiencing similar things. In hindsight for me, it was crazy to worry about perception. I am still the same person, with the same corporate skills, but with the addition of a whole new set of skills and learning. I am a better husband, a better Dad, a better Coach, and ultimately a happier person. I changed the way I viewed my world, and my world changed.

My key learnings

•  Listen to your body, it often gives us signs well before we let our conscious catch up.
• We all have unique wellness needs. Invest time in understanding, what gives or depletes your energy in all elements of your life (Physical, emotional, energetic, mental, and spiritual) at home, work and socially.
• Get clear on the values, beliefs and goals that currently drive you and the way you act and feel. Are they aligned:  To what you really value? Who you really want to BE? What you want to have? And are the things that you are doing, bringing you closer or further away from these.
• Real strength and resilience is being honest with yourself, authentically and then having the courage to seek help and support. We are all human and we all have our challenges.